The Day I Met Johnny Rotten.

 I was punk rock. I was a teenager. I was new wave. I was exposed to the Sex Pistols in junior high (shortly after the band broke up.) I listened to WLIR 92.7 FM...and it was a badge I wore...with pride. In 1990 I became an intern at WDRE (formally WLIR)..here on Long Island. I answered phones, pulled vinyl (that's right) & CDs for "On Airs"...but mostly for Malibu Sue. I drove the "WDRE Van" to various appearances...P.C Richards, Tower Records, Malibu, 007, Bright Fellows, Sprats, (and dozens of other night clubs/bars on Long Island, in the 5 boroughs, New Jersey, & Connecticut...etc...Handed out WDRE bumperstickers, t-shirts, Free CDs.....etc....
   There were perks. Sometimes I got cash from club owners, and free admission to every club we dealt with....but I always got concert tickets, t-shirts, and CDs. However, the coolest thing for me was meeting musicians from bands I grew up with, bands that changed me..or bands that  I connected with.
  I met Rollins, Sting, Peter Buck & Bill Berry, Ric Ocasek, Johnny Marr, Paul Simonon, both John's of  They Might Be Giants...etc..... I met tons one hit wonders. I met douche bags like Dave Stewart from Eurythmics..that refused to shake my hand.
   So in the Spring on '92 I got the call. I was needed at Tower Records down by NYU in NYC. There was an "in-store" with P.I.L............... "What?"
  So apparently, I had to head out to NYC, by such & such a time, and hand out bumperstickers..and such. I'm suppose to be wearing a WDRE t-shirt...and/or baseball cap. I'm suppose to be there by 2pm for a 4pm "instore".
  I rolled up at 3:30pm...there's a line around the block. I'm wearing a "Pop Will Eat Itself" tour jacket (compliments of Malibu Sue), a Fatima Mansions t-shirt, green cut off golf pants, and combat boots. I try walking in, in front of the crowd..but people exploded! "He's cutting!"
  "Relax." I say, and talk my way in. 2 minutes later I'm up front by a fold out dining table, with Sharpies on it. As I'm there getting the evil eye from other interns...I slide behind these tables and take a minute to get the lay of the land. I see a guy half in between the holding area and the mayhem. I KNOW HIM!
  I walk over to this guy. I know this guy. He was in an EMF VHS. That's right, I recognized a FUCKER from an EMF home video. I say, "Hey! You're in that EMF video."
 He turns and is flabbergasted. "Holy Shit!...You saw that?!"
   "Yes."
Next thing you know this guy offers me a beer...and...I'm in the holding area.

So we start talking, the weather, the tour, other bullshit. We're having a conversation...I'm glancing the room. I see John Lydon. Johnny Rotten. THERE HE IS! (remain cool)...I scan back to my new friend and ask more  bullshit questions for a minute....and I turn and walk over to grab a Corona on the table. ...John just happens to be grabbing a beer at the same.  We are now side by side.
  "Hello."....he says.
 "Hey.", and I turn back to my friend (EMF guy)
 I continue to talk to this guy and John walks over and gets in on our conversation. ...and he's cool. Just a guy bullshitting about NYC with the 2 of us. A minute later John is called to go. It's time to sign autographs at a table.
 He grabs a Corona from the ice tray and heads out from behind this divider. He signs..and insults and signs ,,,insults and signs, (After 20 minutes John takes a break for 5 minutes,  we drink Coronas together and he heads back out to sign more..everytime he takes a break I have a beer with him.40 minutes...70 minutes...120 minutes...etc....)
  And then his wife, wearing a full gown, like a wedding ....Nora Foster walks in. SCREAMING!!!
  "John! John! There was an earthquake! All your stuff fell off the wall!!!!...but nothing broke."
 "What?" John Lydon asked, standing inches from me.
"Our house keeper, she called. Everything is ok...our house ...it's OK."
   John looks at me. Looks the rest of the band....turns back to his wife and says.
"You? You come here to tell me about an earthquake in L.A....while I'm doing this?

"....but John, You didn't eat."

"What?"

"You didn't eat. There was Chinese food in the refrigerator. Why didn't you eat the food?"

At this point I realized I'm in the middle of a domestic spat between Johnny Rotten..thee Johnny Rotten and his wife.
 "I couldn't eat it 'cus there was no hot sauce."
"Yes! There was! I put it in a container and put it in the refrigerator."
"But I saw the empty hot sauce bottle in the trash!"
"I took the sauce and put in container to make it easy for you."
"How is that easier?! No HOT SAUCE! No CHINESE FOOD!!!! Leave it in it's place!!!!!"

With that he had to go back out and greet the next 100 fans, lined up.

After 3 hours...it was time to wrap this up. I was in the back drinking Coronas with Mike Joyce from The Smiths...and John Lydon's wife, and some EMF roadie. Johnny walked in. I had a P.I.L. 12" with me. We all drank for a few minutes I pulled John aside, and pulled out my "Bad Life" 12"....."You mind signing this?"

"Wow. I haven't seen this in awhile."...and he signed..."JOHNNY ROTTEN WAS NOT HERE".

I shook his hand, posed for a picture....and he turned back towards the table with the booze on it.

He grabbed a six pack of Corona & a bottle of white wine....turned to me and said..."You like wine?"

"Yes."

"Take this. I'll grab the beer."

And with 2 six packs in hand, Johnny Rotten, aka John Lydon slipped out into the night, into a car waiting.

And me...I hopped into the WDRE Van, for a free ride back in Long Island. I popped open that bottle of wine and shared it with Matty the Horse....and put that empty bottle on a shelf at home.