GETTING FIRED FROM THE JUKE JOINT

 The Juke Joint 213. Ahhhh....the Juke Joint. The Juke Joint was a great little bar in Bellmore.....Beautiful downtown Bellmore. It was owned by my friend Christine Frey's mom, Eileen...and her pal Debbie.

It was great. I think they opened in the summer of 1997...but I started working there in October of that year. It quickly became my home. The 2nd week I worked Brian Setzer showed up and performed. It was that type of place.
   The jukebox was stocked with 100 CDs. All of which were hand chosen by Christine Frey and me. The Damned, Tom Waits, Pop Will Eat Itself, The Cure, The Clash,  Etta James, The Stray Cats, Sex Pistols, Louie Prima, The Cramps...etc...etc...

   The lay out of the place was inviting. There was a black leather, sectional couch in the back, with 2 Lazee-Boy recliners and a pool table in the back.  People would show up, drink and settle in. The front had a beautifully stocked bar, leopard skin fabric on all the bar stools.
  Many bands played there. This bar had flavor. It had feel. It was a community. There were write ups in papers about this place. It was cool....but after 5 years, Eileen & Debbie decided to sell it....and 2 creeps bought it. They quickly killed it.
  Enter Bob & Rich. The new owners. Two guys that never owned a bar...or a business together. They bought it. They wanted "Cheers"...they didn't get it.
   Bob was a nice enough guy. Divorced, drove a mini-van. (At the time I lived at my friend Sue's house. Malibu Sue from WLIR/WDRE...anyway Bob dropped her name a lot ...whenever Bob referred to Sue, he called her, my landlord...never my friend. He'd say things like..."I heard your landlord on the radio today." He never said, "Hey, I heard Sue on the radio today." That was weird.) Bob started off OK...but he grew a goatee and shaved his head to "play" the part of "cool" bar owner, pretty fast. It didn't work.
  The other guy was a real piece of work. Rich was a whack-a-doo!!!! He had white hair combed back like a Saturday Night Fever extra. A porn mustache and BIG Chiclet teeth. He was a REAL CREEP.
One night, after we closed, young Will Teel was helping me clean up and he asked Rich for a bottle of Bud. Rich said, "Sorry. It's after 4am....but I'll give you a massage if you like?"  Will...didn't like.
   Immediately, they got rid of the Lazee-Boys & the couch. A few weeks went by. I continued to work there, hating it...but still making money. When all of a sudden the pool table was gone. The whole back area was empty. I asked why and Rich responded, "More room. Now we can fit more people."
 "More people? To do what? Stand & stare at each other?"
 "No, Dave. Pool tables bring in the "wrong" people. Ya know people that just hang around all night."
 He was clueless.
 They bought smaller glasses and raised the prices.
  They made the tattooed clientele feel uncomfortable (Lone Wolf Tattoo was next door), but embraced the actors from Rich's community theatre. These people never hung out there, but their 8x10's were on the wall. Once, one of them came in and asked for a Pina Colada. I cringed, but made it anyway. When I handed it to her, she slid it back and asked, "Where's the whipped cream? I was on Carnival Cruise, there's suppose to be whipped cream." Oh boy.
  We always clashed. They would ask me advice....and they would go and do the opposite. Each time pushing more people away.
  After 7 months, I was fired.
  I walked in one Wednesday night and proceeded to walk behind the bar. Bob extended his arm to block me from entering. He said we need to talk. Rich was standing feet away.
  "We have a witness of you giving someone a six pack of Heineken without charging him. That's stealing. You're fired."
  Flabbergasted, I said, "What? What are you talking about?"
  Rich steps up and ferociously says, "You stole!!!! You stole a six pack!!! You're fired!!!!"
  "Wait. I didn't steal anything. You're saying a gave some a six pack?", as I motioned a person handing a six pack of beer to someone.
  "Yes!!! You gave someone a six pack. A six pack of Heineken...and didn't charge them."
  "That doesn't make sense. Why would I give someone a six pack and not charge'em? What would I gain? Are you saying I gave someone '6' beers through the course of the night and never charged'em?...or I physically handed someone a six pack and said 'Take that, that's on me..????"
  "You, you...you gave'em a six pack and said it was FREE!!!!!!"
  "We don't have six packs.", I said, tilting my head, curiously. "We get our beer in cases, without six pack carriers. There's no six pack holders inside the cases. There's 24 spots. This NEVER happened."
  "IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!", yelled Rich, his face bright red. "We have a witness!!!"
  "Well, alright then. If you wanted to fire me you coulda just did it." I turned and started walking out.
  I was just about to open the door and leave when Rich yelled, "...and DON'T phone in any phony police reports."
  I shook my head and walked out...never to walk through those doors again.
  Eight months later they were out of business.

It's now a dance studio. No more bar.
Here's a link from Frank Fusco's Bellmore: The Unscene Blog.
The last EGGPLANT QUEENS show there. This is after Bob & Rich bought it. We played there once, only once....but I warned them.

http://bellmoretheunscene.blogspot.com/2011/04/eggplant-queens-juke-joint-213-72702.html

RADIOHEAD STORY : #2

  June 1, 1995:  I ride into New York City with my good friend, Michael Walch (He's now a member of  my band, EGGPLANT QUEENS aka Sunnyside) and his pal, Squid, it was a Thursday. Our destination: Roseland...to see The Reverend Horton Heat open for White Zombie. They had tickets. I did not, I planned on scalping.
  We park and walk up to the venue. There's a mob scene. White Zombie were at their peak. I start hitting up scalpers and it appears the going rate for a ticket is $70...face value was probably $25. I move from scalper to scalper...both professionals and nitwit frat boys trying to score quick loot. After a half hour, Michael and Squid tell me they're heading in and wish me good luck.

  I waste another 20 minutes trying to sneak in and/or get a ticket for face. I explain to a number of scalpers that I'm really only here for The Reverend..... They have no idea what I'm talking about. My effort is futile....and that's when it occurred to me that Radiohead were playing at Tramps, downtown the very same night in support of The Bends. I fill with glee and hail a cab.
  Fifteen minute later I'm standing in front of the place. Tramps was great. It was a tiny club. Through the years I saw GWAR, The Reverend, Ultra Bidet, and a few other acts there....anyway. There I am...standing out front. It's sold out...but no mob scene. In fact, the street was pretty empty...except for one guy. One douche bag. I ask him if he has an extra ticket for the show. He says, "Yeah man.....$50."

  "Fifty?!", I reply...."It only cost $20. I'll give you twenty-five."
  "Supply & demand!", he snapped.
  "Supply & demand? Really? I'm the only guy asking for a ticket on the whole block?"
  "....and I'm the only guy selling."
  So, I tell him to fuck off and I move closer to the entrance.
  I stand there for a few minutes, watching people show up and go in...asking everyone if they have an extra ticket. No one has. This goes on for awhile and that lone scalper yells over, "Hard luck?.... 50 will get you in."...as he startles an elderly woman, walking by with a poodle ..."Hey? You NEED a ticket?"
 She pulls tight on said poodle's leash and says.."NO!"
 I look and laugh, "You're an idiot.".......with that a Lincoln pulls up. A "car service" Lincoln. Out steps 4 cool looking people, in what seems like a hurry.....and I yell, "Hey! You wouldn't happen to have an extra ticket?"
  One woman looks at me. Studies my t-shirt and asks, "You like Fatima Mansions?"

  (Ya see...I was wearing my favorite t-shirt of 1995...it read, in big red letters: "KEEP MUSIC EVIL". I got it from WDRE: the radio station I worked at year or two earlier. It was a promo by a band called Fatima Mansions. I just happened to love that shirt, I just happened to like that band, and I sported that tee often.)
 "Yeah! Those guys are great!"
 "They're mine.", she said. "I've been working them for awhile. They're on my label." (Radioactive, the same label Radiohead were on at the time.)
 "I worked at WDRE for 5 years.", I reply.
 "No shit. Come with us. I'll walk you in."
 I accept....and me and my new entourage, proceed to walk in....with me giving that one lone douche bag the old heave-ho......."Fuck off!!!", I screamed as I walked inside.
  Immediately upon entering Tramps, my new friends leave me. I like that. I squirm through the crowd as Radiohead take the stage. I get up front.

Here's the set list from that night.

They were great. Introducing "Creep", Thom Yorke said, "This next song. This is when the cool kids go to the bar, so go away, while we play 'Creep'...drink up, we'll be here when you return."
  That was probably the umpteenth time I had gone to a concert by myself....but I was learning, and more was yet to come. I ended up seeing Radiohead again, on the tail end of this tour at Roseland. A highlight was the cover of "Nobody Does It Better"...The Spy Who Loved Me Theme. That was incredible!!!!...and again, I went alone.